WARNING: As this review talks about procedural dramas, there is discussion of rape, imprisonment, cannibalism and violence.
I was debating whether to review these, as I didn’t really know if I had enough to say about them. That’s why it’s taken me a few days to come out with anything. But I figured if I reviewed them all together, I might have enough for a proper review. So think of it as the “Procedural Post of Doom” or something.
I have long been a fan of procedural police shows. Since my parents started working from home, it seems like they’re on in the house for most of the day. These three are my favourites and the ones I will actually go out of my way to watch.
Law & Order: Special Victims Unit entered its fifteenth season with a two hour premiere Surrender Benson and Imprisoned Lives. Last season ended on a cliffhanger, with Benson (Mariska Hargitay) held captive by rapist William Lewis (Pablo Schreiber).
These episodes don’t really feel like a two-hour premiere, but more “two episodes that happen to be put together”, which I think is detrimental
Considering the intensity present in the first episode– one of SVU’s own threatened by a psychotic torturer and killer– falls flat. It comes off as more as something for Hargitay’s reel than an actual episode. It never feels like Benson is in any danger. Everyone is just waiting for the moment where she will inevitably get the upper hand. The other SVU detectives are desperately searching, but very little time is spent on them. It’s all about letting Hargitay and Lewis monologue at each other.
Olivia Benson is held captive, while Mariska Hargitay campaigns for another Emmy nod.
Of course, Benson gets free and the second episode– set two months later– has the subplot of her recovery. However, this episode reveals the big problem in the plot point of Benson being held captive.
She would never be allowed back in Special Victims. There is a reason the unit is called Special Victims. Because the focus is on taking care of the victims, who have suffered from horrific crimes. Having someone who is suffering from severe PTSD is detrimental to them.
The main plot of the episode focuses on a ripped from the headlines version of the Ariel Castro kidnapping case. Three women are held captive in a house, one of them bearing a child to the kidnapper.
It’s a very sad commentary on the world that this episode feels tired. SVU has done it before. So had Criminal Minds, Crime Scene Investigation and just about every procedural drama. Yes, it is tragic that it has actually happened again, but it has been done before. It feels too well-tread to be interesting.
The best part of the episode was the elevation of Raúl Esparza to regular cast status. He is the first regular ADA in four seasons and I’m always more interested in the trial parts of the episodes. His character of Rafael Barba is pure sass wrapped in designer suits, a very welcome addition.
75% of the budget is now dedicated to Raúl Esparza’s wardrobe. No complaints here.
The beauty of the age of satellite television with West Coast feeds and iTunes means I am not limited by the fact Law & Order‘s two-hour premiere coincided with the one-hour premiere of Criminal Minds.
Criminal Minds Season Nine Cast: I still miss Prentiss.
Season Nine begins with Agent Hotchner (Thomas Gibson) handling the duties of the BAU Chief, after the death of Erin Strauss in the season eight. The focus of the episode is a serial killer who is rapidly losing touch on reality. He rapes women and forces them to eat flesh from the head of the same victim, patterned the behaviour of a Praying Mantis, only gender-flipped.
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I must comment on the actor who plays the killer, Fred Koehler. I watched Kate & Allie when I was a kid. I’m amazed at the career cute little Chip has carved out for himself as an adult. His common character seems to be maladjusts. Some of the most prominent ones (in my mind at least) being the heroin addicted white supremacist Hank Schillinger on Oz and the potential school shooter Steve Ramsay on Joan of Arcadia (does anyone remember that show? Damn, I loved that show).
“When I grow up, I want to feed my ex-girlfriend to women I abduct.”
Like any episode that features cannibalism, it’s creepy. And… Well, honestly, that’s kind of it. It’s creepy. I can’t really pick out anything that stands out in the positive. Nor in the negative, really.
With the exception of the ending. The ending of the episode is so supremely stupid as to make me want to bang my head against the wall. It’s a cheap ploy to make a two parter out of a pretty weak storyline.
Some might argue with me putting this last show in the procedural category. However, I think Elementary still qualifies as one. It is certainly less procedural than it was in the beginning, focusing less on the mysteries and more on the character interactions, but it still has a mystery an episode.
I was not thrilled by Elementary when it first started, but it has grown on me. I think it has become more comfortable with itself as a Sherlock Holmes adaptation. When it first started, it was more just “procedural that happened to have characters named after Sherlock Holmes characters”. But in the second half of season one, it grew into itself.
The biggest thing Step Nine has on over the premieres of Criminal Minds and SVU is the lack of connection to the previous season. SVU was based off of a cliffhanger and Criminal Minds dealt heavily with fallout. Despite a major plotline dealing with Irene Adler/Moriarty (Natalie Dormer) at the end of the season, none of that is touched on at all. Rather, we’re thrust right into a new case.
The case deals with one of Holmes’ former associates, Gavin Lestrade (Sean Pertwee, yes… Son of the Doctor). Lestrade has been disgraced due to his obsession with a case in which he accused the wrong man. Holmes (Jonny Lee Miller) and Watson (Lucy Liu) must find him and in the process, discover he was right. While in London, Holmes also reconnects with his estranged brother, Mycroft (Rhys Ifans).
I wanted to enjoy the introduction of Lestrade and Mycroft, considering how important they are to the Holmes mythos. However, too much time was spent on the case, which no one really cared about.
Joan was also revealed to be Batman. No one was surprised.
But in rewatching, I don’t know if I would’ve been thrilled with more focus on Lestrade and Mycroft, as I didn’t really like the portrayals of the characters. While Holmes describes Lestrade as “The best of a bad lot”, which is a shout-out to the original canon, there’s not really much backing that up in the portrayal of Lestrade. He comes off like a desperate gloryhound who offers little to the case.
Mycroft I found to be strange. I just didn’t recognize the character. While Elementary has always been freer with its interpretation of canon characters, Mycroft seems too far from the source for me taste. He was this odd Eurotrash character who doesn’t showcase any of the intelligence he has (remember: Mycroft is supposed to be smarter than Holmes, he’s just lazy). The reason for their estrangement– Sherlock sleeping with Mycroft’s fiancée– also struck me as odd.
Why is Stephen Fry the closest we’re allowed to get to a fat Mycroft?
I didn’t care about the case at all and the parts I did care about– the showcasing of two major characters from the original canon– didn’t sit right with me. I was massively underwhelmed.
The only bit that stood out to me as favourable was Bell’s brief appearance asking what Holmes would do with a carrier pigeon, then shaking his head saying, “Wait, I don’t want to know.”
I don’t know if I’ll continue writing reviews of the procedurals I watch. I suppose it depends. If the shows pump out mediocre episodes like their premieres, I might not bother. Why should I take time crafting something when it’s clear the writers aren’t doing the same?